Term 1 - Blog 016 - Empty Blog

If you are clever enough to discover that this blog is not indeed empty, then i suggest you be clever enough not to read it.

For as mentioned in blog 15, i have discovered something about myself. And it isn't the best thing in the world. Turn back now.

Always thought that my greatest fear was none other then
The little creepy crawlies that scare me every night,
Still-i discovered something frightening from my friends:
Something more terrifying than bugs that aren't afraid to bite.

I never knew that i could be afraid of a petty thing like this,
That i could cry a thousand tears from a fear that's just so dumb,
That my inner self could really be this amiss,
That such a simple thing could be the cause of all this numb.

Things weren't what it seemed on that terrible Field Hockey day,
I thought i understood why i cried so poorly from no pain,
I thought it was because the CS wouldn't let me stay
Away from the game that would've had me slain.

It was something far more foolish than what i had thought,
It wasn't my stinging hand or my sudden fall,
It was a symbol of my weakness-a fear that's been caught,
Ah~ i ran away from it-and now i lose it all.


A silly fear, a late realization.
A fear that can finally explain all those tears...that fell from nothing.
Every time someone suddenly stopped talking to me on MSN,
Every time i got confused and fuddled in my friends' conversation,
Every time when i was right and no one had tried to listen,
Every time i tried to say something but was given no time to do so,
And every time I was 'faithfully' abandoned.

My greatest fear is being ignored. And it may always be.
It would explain why i love and miss my savior so much.
Why i wish my guardian angel would just come on back.
Why i wish that my savior could be there for me.
For my savior listened even when there were greater concerns for him/her.
S/he was the only one who never told me "stop complaining."
S/he was the only one who listened to me for hours and calmed me down from stress.
And now as i think of my savior i realize-s/he would not want me to be so unhappy...not at all.
And so i will try not to be the only way i can...by ignoring the pain and stress until it comes back to me again.