Term 2 - Blog 056

mercredi le 14 janvier 2008

*sigh* I'm getting more depressed each day. It's getting harder and harder for me to motivate myself and harder and harder to stay organized. Most days I just want to sleep and stay in my dreams forever rather than face harsh reality. In my dreams, I can manipulate the world. In reality, I'm as unsatisfied as ever.

Stress and worry consume me in real life. I hate it, but I can't help it. I was raised this way and I can't help but feel what I do. Still...I don't want to...I don't want to go back. It scares me...how I once was...and how close I am to going back to that spot. I don't want to be stuck in the past. I want to move on. Still, this depression is so...familiar.

I need to be happier in my blogs, don't I? Strange...I'm normally able to control myself and blog about school. Today will be an exception, I guess. School's okay. But today was Day 1. I like Day 1s. *sigh* I hate MY days. So painful and stressful... I wish...Again with the wishes.

I was so close to climbing out of my past...but I feel it reawakening...